Roping the Steer & Grabbing the Horns

This week I woke up and told myself that I was going to rope the steer and grab onto the horns for dear life. My teacher was still in quarantine and got back into the classroom on Friday. I wanted to focus on getting a good grip on my routine (the horns). Last week, I felt there was too much chaos going on and that I needed there to be some time where I could breathe, and my students could breathe as well. In the beginning of the week, I did just that. I got my routine under control, copies made, all the details planned out perfectly and I was doing a great job controlling the steer. Until suddenly, it decided to change directions on me. Students who were supposed to still be quarantined were able to come back to school. It was absolutely amazing, and I was so excited to see them again, but wow, they had missed a lot of schoolwork. One of the most challenging parts of teaching is to keep moving forward, while catching students up who are behind, especially if those students are lower in their academics. Also, I have realized how hard it is for teachers to ever get to be able to eat lunch and if we do, we probably have the worst digestive tracts ever because we always eat fast and on the go.

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My students this week have grown so much in their academic abilities. That is one of my favorite parts about teaching kindergarten, their growth. Unfortunately, though, this week students struggled with listening and kindness. I experienced my first time having to discipline my whole class when they broke the rules at center time and dumped all the manipulatives out and mixed them up. The next day, they were not given center time and instead had to sort the tubs and do jobs quietly at their desk. It was truly hard for me because students have to sit at their desks so much during this season of COVID but I knew that would remind them not to do it again. They also needed to see that I would crack the whip (figuratively, not literally) and discipline them. I have seen how much my students care and have respect for me as well. When I disciplined them, they felt bad about what they had done. After many students came up to me and gave me hugs and said that they were sorry they had not listened. Similarly, this week was the first time we had really talked about me having to leave their classroom. Their hearts broke and were confused why I was not staying. That was hard for me, really hard and it is going to be difficult to do. I have built a relationship with each one of my kindergarteners and know them forward and back. I know how they will react to my stories, or when they blurt, or what they are saying when no one else does. I give them hugs when other teachers do not see when they are hurting or tell stories that take them into a whole new world. I am sad that I will not get to see them continuing to grow and learn. I won’t get to ask them about their weekends. My heart is just a little sad to have to leave them. Walking into my final week, I just want to cherish each moment, love on them, know that I made a difference in their life, and that they know,

“You is kind, you is smart, you is important.” - The Help

For me, this week went much better and I was proud I got myself for into a routine and settled in. Planning lessons are so enjoyable in the teaching life if you have really good curriculum. My curriculum at this district has been wonderful. It is great because the content is excellent but I can easily change it and add to it as I please. I always like to go above and beyond for my students. Some days that looks different than other days, but I want to do my best to make lessons exciting for my students always. Creating memories for their brains helps them to remember. One day this week during homecoming, I dressed up as a superhero for a couple different reasons.

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1. Students need a superhero in their life some days.

2. When you read, learn math, practice writing, etc you are becoming the most powerful superhero you can be.

3. They are cool.

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I encouraged them that sometimes superheros do not know an answer, so they have to find ways to figure it out. Sometimes they need to ask for help and that is perfectly okay. For most of my students, they were encouraged or needed that smile, but for ALL of my students, it created a memory that will hopefully last forever. Lastly, I was relieved and thankful when my teacher came back, but it was also challenging. I was able to let my guard down just a little bit, while trying to figure out my place in the classroom. I didn’t have to write emails or answer phone calls like before. I am so thankful I got to truly experience what teaching is going to be like. Not many student teachers can say that. My teacher told me that our principal emailed her asking her for a person of contact for me. He wanted to reach out to my supervisor to brag on how amazing I was. My principal wants to write a letter of recommendation for me because of how much confidence he had in me, my professionalism, flexibility, and ability to teach. To add, many teachers and the administrator came up to me many times and said how truly amazing I had been doing. They were impressed. For me, I was also proud of myself. I knew without a doubt I could do it and do it well, but some days I was down on myself for not having things go the way I wanted or not having enough patience at times. Time and time again though, people reassure me that I am one of the most patience people they have ever met and that is something I will always do my best to do. When I get my own classroom soon, I want my students to know that at the end of each day, I will always give them a fresh start tomorrow so that they can try, try again.

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All and all, this week once again went very fast. The steer did it’s best to get away, but I roped it and grabbed onto the horns for dear life and kept trying. I will always always always keep trying to do better for my students. I have to end with a story. On Friday, little P got me laughing so hard. He/she had been a student I had not built a strong relationship with yet in the schoolyear. He/she is very difficult to understand, but loves to talk. During our theme time, we were talking about the big homecoming football game and how we had been celebrating that week. As we were talking, P kept getting super excited and wanting to be called on but his/her patience started running thin. Instead of waiting to be called on, he/she thought it was soooo important that he/she ran up to the front of the room by me and started telling his/her story. Then he/she would slowly walk backwards to his desk. Then he would get excited again and up he/she goes from his seat all the way up to the front of the room by me. I started laughing and laughing because of his/her pure joy and excitement to participate in our discussion. I want all students to be that willing to participate and want to get called on to talk and give ideas to the class. It is the little things, but those kindergarteners will forever know how to put a smile on my face and jeez louiseee I will miss them.

Take care, polar bear.

Ms. Barr

AKA... Captain America